Technology Sucks

By Roberts Jordon ~

There is some technology that I really like, such as garage door openers, automatic ice cube makers in the refrigerator, word processors, hand held calculators, wireless printers, intermittent windshield wipers, television, jet airplanes, remote controls, and my computer when it does what I want it to do.  I also like the technologies in the medical field that help save lives or make it easier. There are others, but I just can’t think of them right now.

But technology has gone too far, and I fear it’s going even farther. Technology that puts me in a compromised situation, I don’t like. What kind you ask, the kind where you cannot reach a human being on the telephone without first going through a worthless menu. Then once you do hear a human voice there’s a 50/50 chance you can’t understand them. It’s cheaper to make a recording than to pay an employee. That foreign voice you can’t understand, they work for less wages.

Okay before you jump on me for being racists – I don’t begrudge anyone for having a job, but I condemn those companies that put folks into a position where they cannot do a good job. Help them you corporations who only think of the bottom line. I am an old dog and I remember being able to call a company, have a human being greet me, ask what they can help with, and then connect me to someone who could help.  Today it’s all programmed and digitized, a pain in the portion of your anatomy you sit on.

Okay before all you capitalist radicals jump on me for resenting a company for making a profit – I don’t, but I do berate the obscene profits, and the inconsideration of the consumer. I suspect all the business schools teach bottom line because today it is not only the most important element, it is the only element.  Do things cheaper, but at the expense and inconvenience of folks like me?

I dislike the technology of replays on televised sports. Games are supposed to be played, and officiated, by human beings.  Human beings make mistakes.  Officials get the opportunity through replays to “get it right.” How about the players?  Should they not get the opportunity for a do-over so they can get it right if they make a mistake?  Officials should make the call and get on with it – it will never be perfect.

And baseball is considering making a machine to call balls and strikes?  I hope that is fake news. If not, then just build robots to play the game – my robots against your robots. Ugh!

How about that internet?  It’s supposed to let people all over the world communicate with each other – spread love and joy and information.  They didn’t count on unscrupulous folks that learned how to hack into your bank account, your power grid, your election, hold your computer hostage – and other nefarious and annoying activities. Now those technological wizards can’t figure out protections?

Lest I forget what they call “social media.”  It has kind of an ominous ring to it – social media. What a wonderful and engaging concept.  Not only are you able to pick out and harass individuals, you can also argue with and insult people.  And you can advertise!  Oh Boy!  Russia caught on to that real quick. And now legal representatives from Facebook, Twitter, and Google are testifying in front of Congress and are being challenged over why they allowed Russia to try and affect millions of Americans with divisive information. They all three claim it was unexpected, and they weren’t prepared to contend with it.  But, they put the money, or rubles, in the bank – DUH.  Profit gentlemen, the very most important thing in the world – profit!

And when your computer doesn’t work? Or doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do? And finally, my very favorite pet-peeve – folks who are mesmerized by that small, wafer thin and very expensive, rectangular instrument that I grew up without – the texting, tweeting, emailing apparatus that companies have provided knowing they can control your moods, your thinking, your habits, and the majority of your waking hours.

I admit it’s a kick to look at photos and videos, taken just moments ago, of your grand kids, and great grand kids on that tiny little screen that you need your glasses to see. Like I said it is a kick, but me? I would rather sit on the couch with a large picture album of photos taken and then developed by Walgreens.  You can turn the pages, go back and forth easily. But you still need your glasses. A picture album seems a little more homey and warm to me.  Plus, what happens if you lose your super-duper phone, or it’s stolen, or it malfunctions and deletes all the data, and you don’t have an antidote, or a good stiff drink handy?

The techies out there will take exception to all I say here, but I remind you this is merely a view of life by a grump.

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