Grief: Our Most Difficult Human Emotion

~ By Kathy Robertson ~

Why is it that grief, one of the most natural emotions that we go through as humans is also one of the hardest emotions that we will have to face in our life time. Kathy Robertson, a passionate and devoted grief coach, found out first-hand how hard this journey can be emotionally. On December 11th 2007 Kathy lost her daughter, Abigail, in a horrible tragedy. Her ex-boyfriend, who had been stalking and harassing her daughter, stabbed and shot her resulting in her death.

“You want to cry, scream or throw something!” says Kathy. Though Abigail had been stalked by this young man for months, none of us realized how dangerous he was. We just weren’t educated on the warning signs of an abusive relationship and did not take it as seriously as we needed to!

Kathy and her husband, Chuck, later became vocal proponents of stalking laws and formed a non-profit called “Abby’s Voice,” with the mission of educating high school and college age men and women on relationship violence and stalking.

Kathy’s passion and desire to help others has led her to form her own business, Loving In Absence, and she is now a certified grief coach helping others work through their grief and loss. Kathy emphasizes that a grief coach is not a licensed therapist or counselor, but a life coach specializing in grief and loss.

A grief coach works as a cheerleader helping clients work through the loss, anger, fear, isolation and loneliness of losing a spouse, child, pet, parent, sibling, or divorce. Kathy’s main focus is helping her clients with tools that can help them with the process of grief.

“Losing my daughter changed my life forever. I struggled with what to do with myself after her death. My sense of identity was totally shattered, and I had to recreate myself. Some days I struggled with just getting out of bed. That is why I turned the direction of my grief into something positive by forming my foundation and focusing my pain and sorrow into helping others. That is also why I became a grief coach. I realized that I had something to offer others that are going through what my family and I went through,” says Kathy.

“I’ve been where my clients are, I know exactly how hard it is to lose someone so dear to you.” This is why Kathy is different than most other counselors. I am trained to help with the grief journey and have first-hand knowledge!” Kathy says.

This time of year can be an especially hard time for people going through loss. December and January bring reminders of how lonely loss can be and that traditions are being celebrated without the loved one that has passed. Kathy suggests doing something in honor of that loved one and starting new traditions and ways of celebrating. She also suggests various techniques to help with the stress and anxiety that come with loss, such a journaling, meditating, reading, listening to music, and staying busy.

“You are going to cry, you just are. It is your right of passage and the loved one lost deserves our tears. There are days however when it seems that your heart is broken and you will never feel like yourself again!” says Kathy. She also reminds us that everyone grieves differently. Just because someone is not crying on the outside all of the time, does not mean that they are not torn up and crying on the inside. “One of the kindest things that my husband and I did for each other was allow each other to grieve in our own way,” says Kathy.


Kathy Robertson’s grief coaching office is located in Lafayette and she is taking on new client’s every day. Please visit her website at lovinginabscence.com or call her at 720-232-5896 to schedule a free 30 minute consultation.

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